Friday, June 7, 2013

exxxpert cosmo tips

foreplay 



foreplay 

voguedissent: the fact that all those "best of rock" lists contain, like, 95% white men bands and...

voguedissent:

the fact that all those "best of rock" lists contain, like, 95% white men bands and none of the poc THEY RIPPED THEIR MUSIC FROM tells you something about how bullshit rock is

controlledweirdness: deja-vheissu: expertcosmotips: The fact that so many books still name the...

controlledweirdness:

deja-vheissu:

expertcosmotips:

The fact that so many books still name the Beatles "the greatest or most significant or most influential" rock band ever only tells you how far rock music still is from becoming a serious art. Jazz critics have long recognized that the greatest jazz musicians of all times are Duke Ellington and…

I'm not denying that other bands of the time or bands after weren't absolutely amazing, but who the fuck are you to deny the Beatles of that? Pop culture has the ability to severely distort things, but I believe the Beatles deserve every ounce of success they've had. There's something about the simplicity in their instrumentals and harmonies that perfectly accompany their powerful lyrics. They got the recipe 100% right and that is why they are so renowned.

You know this is that fake sex tips parody thing blog and they’re not being serious right

we are being serious actually

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cosmo tip #699

The fact that so many books still name the Beatles “the greatest or most significant or most influential” rock band ever only tells you how far rock music still is from becoming a serious art. Jazz critics have long recognized that the greatest jazz musicians of all times are Duke Ellington and John Coltrane, who were not the most famous or richest or best sellers of their times, let alone of all times. Classical critics rank the highly controversial Beethoven over classical musicians who were highly popular in courts around Europe. Rock critics are still blinded by commercial success: the Beatles sold more than anyone else (not true, by the way), therefore they must have been the greatest. Jazz critics grow up listening to a lot of jazz music of the past, classical critics grow up listening to a lot of classical music of the past. Rock critics are often totally ignorant of the rock music of the past, they barely know the best sellers. No wonder they will think that the Beatles did anything worth of being saved.

10 Ways To Embrace the Sexy Wife God Made You To Be

10 Ways To Embrace the Sexy Wife God Made You To Be:

7. Ask the Father to give you the heart of the Shulamite Woman (for Him and for your husband) as you study the Song of Solomon.

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apprenticenecromage: i haven't absorbed the nutrients of a man's broken down ego in a long time i'm...

apprenticenecromage:

i haven't absorbed the nutrients of a man's broken down ego in a long time i'm starting to weaken

oolongs: seductively blinking



oolongs:

seductively blinking

cosmo tip #698

every time he gets a boner take him to the hospital for immediate treatment

tickledfancy: More illustrations for Reductress! NESFW (Not...



tickledfancy:

More illustrations for Reductress! NESFW (Not Exactly Safe For Work). Presenting: 8 Sex Positions That Will Blow His Mind and Destroy His Penis, written by Rachel Wenitsky.

cosmo tip #697

save time: dont date anyone that isn’t a bowl of chips

wow rest in peace larry the cablle guy

wow rest in peace larry the cablle guy

cosmo tip #696

if a guy buys you a bunch of drinks and then expects you to have sex with him you can just give him back the drinks by puking into his lap

cosmo tip #695

do you desperately seek a warm loving embrace but find yourself all alone? just find some roadkill and snuggle up!

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rivailleplz: 進撃と巨人



rivailleplz:

進撃と巨人

cosmo tip #694

make sure he takes you on a date to see that new movie with white people as the main characters for a romantic night out

cosmo tip #693

you can’t just do something like wear shorts and show your legs in hot weather because that is bad. it is leg. you can’t just leg

bl00d-sugar: I FOUND A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO MAKE DILDO POPSICLES...













bl00d-sugar:

I FOUND A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO MAKE DILDO POPSICLES IM LEGITIMATELy DYING OF LAUGHTER RN

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